Like A Razor Blade
by Project324B21
Summary: "Where'd you get the picture Sarah?" "Up yours Proclone." What happens when Rachel comes in when Daniel captures Sarah. Based on 2x04. WARNINGS: Violence and smut!
1. I'll Scar My Name On You Forever

My first ProPunk fic! WARNING: Violence and smut!

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I dont know why I keep on getting myself into these situations. This isnt the first time in the past few months that Ive been punched in the face. It is the first time however, that I have been knocked out. So when I start to come to after this one, to say I'm a little freaked out would be an understatement. My body lurches as I remember what happened, I open my eyes and try to blink away my blurry vision. My head pounds and my arms ache. I try to push a few stray hairs out of my face but quickly realize that I cant move my arms. I snap my head upwards and look at my hands, restrained by zip ties, tied to a shower head. I hear a foot step and I look to see Daniel walk into the bathroom. "Oh, you're awake. Good. We can get down to buissness." He grabs a photo off the sink and holds it in front of me. Oh, it's project LEDA. "Tell me, where did you get this?" I stare at the picture then back at him. "I have a better idea. Eat me." I spit in his face.

He backs up, grabs a towel, and wipes his face. "You're not the smartest clone, are you?" He asks. "Smart enough to know youre shagging Rachel." I smirk. "Daniel, Why are you so scared for us to find out about project LEDA?" I inquire. He pulls out a razor and starts sharpening it. "What makes you think youre going to be able to tell anyone once we're done here?" He starts walking towards me with the razor pointed at me. "Daniel." He freezes and my eyes widen. "I see you have found her. Leave us." Daniel puts the razor on the counter as Rachel walks towards me. She stands infront of me, looking me over until she hears the front door close. "Did you really think we wouldnt catch you, Sarah?" Rachel brushes my hair out of my eyes. "Poor thing. You're shaking. Are you scared?" I scoff at her words. "Of you? Never." She hums at me, picking up the razor from the sink. I close my eyes and cringe at the sight of it.

"Where'd you get the picture, Sarah?" Rachel walks towards me, her eyes gleaming with athority. "Up yours proclone." I see a flash of anger goes through Rachel's eyes as she leans towards me. "Fine, you want to play games Sarah? Lets play." Before I know it she is moving my hair and slicing right behind my ear. Pain filled screams leave my mouth as I feel blood start to trickle down my neck. Rachel pulls back and smirks at the sobs escaping me. "Are you going to tell me now?" Part of me wants to spill everything. The pain in my ear is almost too much to bear, but I think of Cosima and Alison and know I cant. I have to protect my sisters, and Kira. Always Kira. "Never." I tell Rachel. "Your choice." Rachel holds the blade up to the side of my neck, presses it down and drags it down the length of my neck. "Shite!" I manage to groan out through tears. My head starts spinning, and weather its from the pain or blood loss, I dont know. Before I have time to recover from that cut, Rachel is making another one, this time across my stomach. My screams have turned deafening now. The pain spreading through out my entire body.

"Please Rachel, Please stop." I beg her through my sobbing. She grabs my face in her hand and looks me dead in the eye. "Are you going to answer my questions now?" She asks while admiring her handy work. My tears mix with my blood as I cry. I know I cant. Cosima told me if I was ever in a life threatening position that I could tell them everything, but I just cant bring myself to. I shake my head at Rachel. "I cant tell you." Your doing this for Kira, for your sisters. It's okay, you can do this. I have to keep reminding myself. Rachel goes for the other ear this time, cutting the same path as the other. Then she asks again and my answer stays the same, so she cuts my leg, then the blade is pressing into my hip when I finally break.

"It was Amelia, okay? Amelia gave it to me when she told me about Helena being my twin." I sob out. I hang my head in shame. I can't believe I broke. "How did Amelia get it?" Rachel asks while lifting my head. "I dont know." I lie. Another scream as the blade slices down my hip, blood flowing onto the shower floor. "Mrs. S had it!" I answer her last question. "Sibhon?" Rachel asks. I nod at her. "Now that wasnt so hard, was it Sarah?" Rachel closes the blade and sits it on the sink, I sigh in relief. "I'm going to have to keep you with me until I know everything you know." I feel panic run through me as I starts jerking on my restraints again. "Please, let me go." I beg her. "We need to get you cleaned up now." Rachel ignores my plea. She walks out of the room for a second, and when she comes back, Daniel is standing outside the door and smirking at me. "I need you to stand out here while I get her cleaned up, just incase she tries anything." Rachel orders him. Daniel nods and Rachel shuts the door and locks it.

As soon as Rachel cuts the zip ties, I fall to the ground, quickly realizing that they were the only things holding me up. My arms feel dead and my body throbs in pain. "Can you get up?" Rachel asks. I try to push myself up but I just end up collapsing back on the floor. I shake my head at Rachel. Rachel hums and grabs some sisscors that are on the sink. She quickly cuts my dark red tank top off of my body before doing the same to my bra. Then, Rachel pushes me flat on my back and tears my boots off of my feet. I try to sit up and back away from her but I'm so tired and weak that she overpowers me, forcing me back again before hooking her fingers in the waistband of my rips leather pants and dragging them down, with my underwear. I use my arms to cover myself, as being exposed like this to Rachel is not comfortable.

Rachel grabs the shower head off the wall, turns the water on, and sprays me with freezing cold water. I gasp and whimper as the water hits my open wounds but Rachel just continues to spray, washing away the blood. Rachel turns off the water and crouches down to look closely at me. "None of them need stitches. You'll be fine. Just some scaring." Rachel smirks. I lay on the cold tiled floor shivering as Rachel walks out of the room.

When she walks back in, its with Daniel behind her. "You know where to put her." Rachel gestures to me. Daniel walks over to me and picks up my naked body, carrying me to what looks like a closet with a window in Rachels room. When she unlocks it, I see a cot with a pillow and blanket, and a toliet. The walls are barren and the room is cold. Daniel lays me on the cot and walks out. "Welcome to your new home, Sarah." Rachel smirks. "C-c-clothes." I shiver out. "We'll have some by tomorrow. Good night." Rachel walks out and locks my (cell?) door. I fall asleep almost instantly.

I wake up the next morning and my whole body aches. I still manage to stand up and look out the small window in the room. I feel anger enter my veins when I see Rachel asleep on her bed. I wrap the thin blanket they gave me around me and start to bang on the door, waking Rachel. "What do you want, Manning?" She asks coldly. "Get me the fuck out of here, you bitch!" I scream banging even louder on the door. "If you dont quit I'm going to have to restrain you." Rachel says in her calm ice cold voice. "I'd like to see you try proclone." My banging gets even harder. Rachel sighs and gets out of bed, opening her bedside drawer to pull out some rope. "You asked for it Manning."

As soon as Rachel opens the door, I jump into action. I punch her and run past her, only for her to grab me by the hair, and drag me back in the small room. She pulls me backwards until I am sitting on the cot. "Let me go!" I scream and scratch at her. Reaching up, I wrap my hands around her throat squeezing harshly. Her face starts turning red as she chokes, but she manages to grab my hands and pin me to the bed, straddling me. "Daniel!" Rachel yells. I hiss up at her. "What? Can't fight your own battles?" Daniel walks into the room. "Yes Rachel?" "Will you grab that rope and help me tie her?" Daniel nods and grabs the rope. First he ties my pinned hands to the head board, then loops the rope under the bed and ties my feet, spread, to the foot board. "Thank you Daniel. You may go now." I squirm and buck trying to get Rachel off of me, but none of it seems to faze her.

"So-" Rachel wraps her hands around my throat. "-you like to choke people, eh?" She starts squeezing. "Well, how do you like being choked?" I cough and writhe beneth her, gasping for breath when she finally lets go. "So what else do you know about LEDA?" Rachel asks. "Nothing. I just saw the picture, thats it." Rachel slaps me across the face. "Lies." She growls. "You want to do this the hard way, fine. Lets do it." Rachel pulls my head back and starts kissing my neck, confusing me, until she finds my pulse point and bites down. I let out an accidental groan at her actions. "I always knew you were a whore." Rachel sucks the skin of my neck into her mouth, marking me harshly. "What are you doing?" I yell at her. She shushes me and starts kissing down my chest.

"Tell me what you know." Rachel orders. "I already told you, noth- Holy shite!" I curse as she sucks one of my nipples into her mouth. I feel disgusted in myself and I feel my body starts to react to her, as it starts to get aroused. "No. Rachel, stop." I order her, but she just bites down on the nipple in her mouth, making me throw my head back and groan. She spends a while sucking and biting that nipple, making a few moans and groans fall out of my mouth before she pulls away. "Are you going to tell me now?" She asks. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself before I answer. "I already did." She bites down hard on the other nipple, so hard she draws blood and makes me jerk on my restraints. She plays with that nipple harsher than she did the other one and I whimper from the pleasure trying to over throw my body.

For a few minutes, it continues like that, her switching between both nipples until they are swollen from all the attention and I am a shaking mess. "Do you have an answer now?" She asks as she twists both my nipples at once. I moan lowly and shake my head no. Part of me wishes she would pull out the blade again. That would be less humiliating. "You must be really mad at your body." Rachel teases. "I mean, look at how it's betraying you." She runs a finger across a hard nipple. "Youre so aroused." She growls. I turn my head to hide my face in my arm out of embarrassment, because yes, my body is betraying me. I can feel the heat building inbetween my legs.

"You know what to do to make this stop. Tell what you know, and who else knows about it." She whispers in my ear. "Fuck you." I grind out. Rachel leans back laughing. "No Sarah, fuck you." She starts kissing down my stomach, biting down on my hip bones, and settling between my legs. I start shaking my head back and forth murmuring "No, no, no, no" over and over again. "All you have to do is tell me." Rachel sing-songs. I shake my head, resigning myself to my fate. Making myself realize that, yes, I am going to be fucked by Rachel Duncan, the proclone. I feel Rachel biting at my inner thighs and I know my body will be covered in them. I can feel the blush on my cheeks and on my chest, my chest heaving from the heavy breaths I am taking.

I head lulls back and a rather loud moan leaves me as Rachel slides a hand up my slit, bumping my clit. "You are so wet, you must be loving this." I shake my head even as moans fall out of my mouth when she circles my clit with her thumb. Rachel chuckles and slips two fingers inside of me, making a small scream come out of me. "Are you going to tell me now Sarah?" Rachel pumps her finger at a hard but uneven pace, never letting me get used to a rythym. "N-no." I moan out, finding it hard to get words out at the time. My body writhes on the small cot, my back arching against it, my toes curling, my fists clenching and unclenching. I am in an embarrassing, tourtureous exctasy.

My moans turn into wails as she starts curling her fingers with every thrust of her hand, and I think in my head, that she must of done this before. I cry out as I feel my stomach clenching and my walls tighten, knowing that I am close, and Rachel must feel it too, because she pulls out of me right before I fall over the edge. I whimper at the loss of sensation and I start doing the one thing I never thought I would do before. "Rachel, please." Frustrated tears run down my face. "Please what?" Rachel asks smirking. "Dont-" I gulp. "Dont stop." The rational part of my brain is screaming at me, this isnt right, you dont want this, but I cant hear it much. "Don't stop what Sarah?" I whimper when I realize what she wants me to say, and I know that if I say it, she will win. I battle with myself for a moment before sighing. "Please dont stop fucking me, Rachel. Please." I beg her in tears. "Tell me then. Who else knows about Project LEDA?" Rachel asks. She runs a finger up my slit. "Cosima and Felix." I cry. A part of me cant believe I'm being so submissive. "What else do you know?" She asks. "I know about the patent and about the professors and the clone desease." I admit to her. "Is that all?" She whispers in my ear. "Yes, yes, thats it, now please." I beg once again. "Good girl." She lowers her head down, and I dont get to think about whats happening, until its already begun.

Her tounge is on me, and its so warm and so nice. She swirls it around my clit for a while, flicking it, rubbing it, switching constantly. I whimper and moan as she continues her assault on me. "Shite." I groan when she plunges her tongue into my entrance, her head bobbing as she fucks me. I can feel the clenching in my stomach come back and I hear my moans get louder. My head is filled with nothing but pleasure as my body writhes from it. She moves a hand up and starts furiously rubbing at my clit when I start to feel my body come undone. First I go completely still and tense as the clenching in my stomach tightens. Then I arch my back with a scream as the tension releases. I shake and wail as a powerful orgasm takes over my entire body. Then Rachel replaces her tounge with her fingers, pumping in and out of me, curling to hit my g-spot, and I scream again. Tears streak my face as my second orgasm washes through me, but she still doesnt stop. By the time the third one hits me, I am sobbing so loud I'm pretty sure Daniel can hear it outside.

After that one it stops. She stands up from the cot, wipes her mouth, and smoothes out her clothes. "What will your Cal think about this?" She smirks. "How do you know that name?" I yell at her. She just walks out the door and locks it behind her, leaving me naked, worn out, and tied up on the bed. This was only the first day of my imprisonment.

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Should I continue it? Or leave it be? What do you guys think? Do you like submissive Sarah?


	2. Cause I Like My Pain With A Little Shame

I've gotten no reviews or follows...Is it really that bad?

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For the next two days no one comes in my cell, other than Daniel to give me clothes and food. Every meal I gets bread, butter, and water. My clothes are more like scrubs, and I wasnt given a bra. Daniel also comes in every night to restrain me, considering I would bang on the door all night keeping Rachel up. Now, I just scream until my voice is so tired I cant scream anymore. I scream at Rachel to come in here, to tell me what she knows about Cal, to let me out. I feel like a caged animal, and I briefly wonders if this is how Helena felt her entire life. On the third day of being here, Rachel opens the door to her cell and walks in, its early morning so I'm still tied up, but I quickly start fighting against my restraints when I see Rachel has a big needle. "Relax, it's just a muscle relaxer, it'll make you less likely to fight us." I cringe when she sticks the needle in my arm. I quickly feel my body go slack, everything starting to feel really heavy. "You can come in now." Rachel calls out to someone. She starts undoing the restraints at my feet when himself walks in. "Hello Sarah." Rachel moves to undo my hands. I try to sit up but Rachel puts her hands on my shoulders effectively pinning me down. "Are we ready to move her?" Leekie asks. "Move me where?" I ask as Rachel jerks me up out of my cot. Daniel walks in and grabs my feet, while Rachel supports my top half and they walk me out of Rachels apartment.

We go down a hallway that connects to the DYAD Institute building, when we are there we get on an elevator and go down to the basement. I kick my foot to try and hit Daniel but I am too weak from the meds and I barely get my foot to move an inch. I throw my head back against Rachel in an attempt to get her to drop me, but she just laughs at my feeble attempt. We go through many doors in the sub-levels before we finally stop infront of a door. When they open it there is a hospital bed with restraints built in, and a lot of doctors, including Delphine. Rachel and Daniel lay me on the bed and put my hands and feet into the restraints. "Delphine, what are you doing? Why arent you helping me?" I yell at her. "Are you going to do this to Cosima too?" Delphine stands infront of me and scowls. "Cosima is coopertive, Cosima doesnt get herself into trouble. You do." I growl at her. "Does Cosima know about this?" Delphine sighs. "No, and she wont know. Not for a while at least. Now open your mouth." She holds a cotton swab infront of my face. "Go fuck yourself." I spit out. Before Delphine has time to react Rachels hands are around my throat, forcing me to open my mouth to gasp for air. Delphine quickly reaches in and swabs my cheek before putting the cotton swab in a tube. My chest heaves violently when Rachel lets go of my throat.

"Who's taking the blood?" Delphine asks. Rachel grabs a needle and sits beside me. "I will do it." She wraps the tourniquet around my arms tightly and taps on my arm until a vein pops out. Then she wipes it down with an alcohol wipe before sticking the needle in. She take four vials of blood before she finally pulls the needle out. "Alright. Last thing." Rachel grabs a pair of scissors and cuts a few strands of my hair out. "Are we all done?" Rachel asks bagging the hair. Delphine nods. Alright. They roll my bed out of the room and down a hallway before rolling me into another room. This room is slightly bigger than my other one but it's still really small. "Why are you keeping me here?" I ask Rachel. "We need you for medical testing." Rachel smirks. "Plus we found Cal and Kira." "Dont you fucking touch her!" I scream, violently trying to free myself. Tears prick my eyes as I think of how scared Kiras gonna be. "Kira will be safe here. No medical testing will be done on her. She will be given everything she's ever dreamed of." Rachel tells me coldly. "Please Rachel. Please dont hurt her." I cry. "My baby. She's my little monkey."

"You see, if you are coopertive with us, you will get to have visits. We dont wish to take away her mother." Rachel tells me. "I dont want just visits! I'm her bloody mom! I'm supposed to take care of her!" I scream at her, tears streaming down my face. "Why do you want to now? You never did before! You left her for almost a year, didnt you? What kind of mother is that?" Rachel growls at her. "You were blessed with the ability to have kids and you just threw it away!" I shrink into the hospital bed as Rachel screams what I already know at me. "I'm trying to fix that, but I can't from here." I whisper to her. "You are never going to be able to fix it Sarah." And with that, Rachel walks out of the room.

The next day Rachel walks into my room again. "Kira is in our custody. She is safe. Says she wants to see you soon, but she cant unless you do what we tell you, is that understood?" Her voice is still cold but it's a little less cold than usual. I look down and nod my head. "I understand." My voice breaks as I say it. It's hard for me to give up my control like that. "If I undo the restraints, are you going to stay calm?" Rachel inquires. I nod my head, a few tears making their way down my face. She calmly undoes the restraints and looks back at me. "Let me see her now." I order Rachel. "You havent earned it yet." Rachel says. "It will take a few days for me to trust you." I get on my knees and look at her with pleading eyes. "Is there anything I can do to make it sooner? Please?" I beg her. "No, Sarah."

"This is such shit! She's my daughter! I need to see her." I scream. "I'd suggest you lower your voice and calm down before I make you." Rachel orders. "Or what? Are you going to sedate me? That's my daughter you freakish controling bitch." I barely get the last word out before Rachel has me pinned and my hands back in restraints. "Let me go!" I try to kick my legs but she is sitting on them. "No. I told you I would calm you down." The next thing I know, my pants are around my ankles and two fingers are pushing inside of me. Its only minutes later that I come.

It turns into a thing very quickly. I do something Rachel doesnt like, and she fucks me into submission. It's a pattern, a game that she never fails to win. The sick thing though, is I like it. I like someone taking control from me for once. I like being able to let go of it all and let someone else do the work. I like how Rachel fucks me. I like it so much that I've started pissing her off on purpose.

I needed her now. She was who I realied on. She controlled every part of my life now. She brought me my food, took me for my showers, brought me presents and pictures from Kira. She was my lifeline. And I hated that. I hated that I had to depend on someone so much. I try to still be defiant when I can, but she always shuts me down. Today, though, today I was going to do something big. I was gonna run.

I look at the time and see its almost noon, which means any second Rachel will come with my food. I stand beside the door and wait. It's a few minutes later that I start to hear foot steps. As soon as the door opens I slam into Rachel making her fall backwards. I take off down the hallway, which surprisingly doesnt have guards, but slow down when I see Delphine infront of me. "Shit." I curse. "Grab her!" Rachel yells. I charge toward Delphine and try to slip under her arms but instead she moves so that we crash into eachother. She wraps her arms around my waist and picks me up, carrying me back to my room as I scream at her and kick the air. Delphine shoves me to the ground when we get to my room and walks out. Rachel grabs me by the hair and pulls me to my feet. "Now you wont see Kira tomorrow." Rachel whispers in my ear. "Oh, cut the shite. You were never going to let me see her anyway." I yell at her. I see rage fill her eyes as she pushes me down on the bed.

"Take off your clothes." Rachel orders. "Bite me." I smirk at her. That's when I feel her slap me across the face. "Take. Your. Clothes. Off." She orders through gritted teeth. She punches me this time, and thats when I move into action. I rip my scrub top over my head and pull down my pants, then I freeze. "Underwear too." She orders. I sigh and pull those down my legs too. As soon as they are off, she pushes me on my back and straddles me. She leans down close to my face and rests her hand on my throat. "You know, if you wanted me to fuck you, all you have to do is ask." She punches me again. "You dont have to keep acting out to get attention, Sarah." Another punch. "You're acting like a child." Teeth, thats what I feel next. She starts to bite down the length of my throat. My head spins from the blows it just recieved and I'm ready sure my face is going to be bruised tomorrow. Still though, I manage a moan as Rachel bites my pulse point.

"Just admit it Sarah. That's why you do all this, so I'll take control over you." Rachel growls in my ear. I shake my head at her. "No." She sucks at my pulse point. "I just want out of here." I moan. "If you really did, you wouldnt enjoy this so much. Youre institutionalized, Sarah." Rachel scratches a long finger nail across my nipple. "No. I hate you and I hate it here." I try to convince her. "No. You love not having control. You love being taken care of for once in your life." Rachel starts kissing my chest. "Your whole life, youve had to fight for for yourself. Never once were you given a break. You've never let someone take care of you before." She bites my nipple hard. "Admit it." I feel tears come to my eyes at her words.

She's right. Sure, I had Mrs. S but she kind of left me to my own devices. She would be there if I ever told her that I needed her, but God knows I would never admit defeat. Poor Felix, he never knew what to do, he was always younger and less expierenced. I always went throught the big stuff. Drugs, alcohol, an abusive relationship, teenage pregnancy, and now clone club and DYAD. No one ever knew how to take care of me, so they left me alone. I was left to depend on myself. I only trusted myself.

I remember not telling Mrs. S about being pregnant until she noticed my baby bump and asked about it. I never told anyone about Vic being abusive until I came home with a black eye. I never told anyone about my drug problem until I was going through withdrawls and Mrs. S found me in the bathroom. Secretly, I think I always wanted someone to have some control over my life. I mean, I've never had that and look where it's gotten me. So maybe, being here will be good for me, at least for a little while.

"Admit it, Sarah." Rachel tries to coax the words out of me. She bends down and bites one of my nipples and my hands go to her hair. She grabs them and looks back up at me. "Well?" She tilts her head. I huff at her but feel myself start to break. "Fine. I like you having control, yeah? Is that what you wanted to bloody hear?" I yell at her. She smirks up at me. "See, that wasnt so hard, now was it?" She starts kissing down my stomach, she lands a light kiss on the scabbed over cut she made on me, then continues downwards until she's between my legs. She starts placing sensual kisses on my inner thighs, lightly biting down every now and again. I grab her by her perfect hair and try to push her closer to where I need her to be. She pulls back and smirks. "Tell me, Sarah. Tell me you need me." I huff and squirm around a bit, trying to relieve the pressure, but nothing works. "Just do somethin' already, Rachel!" I yell at her. My body is on fire. I know whats coming, how good its going to feel, but the anticipation is killing me. "Not until you tell me."

"Please Rachel!" I whimper. I dont like the words shes wanting me to say. I've never told anyone that I need them, which is probably why she wants me to do it. She runs her nails up and down my thighs, waiting. "I-" I hesitate. "You what?" She asks me in her cold voice. "I-I need you." I whisper softly. "What was that? I couldnt hear you." I know she could. She just wants to hear me say it again. "I need you, Rachel." I say it louder this time. "I know." She says as she plunges two fingers where I need her. "Fuck." I moan as I grab the sheet beneth me. My back arches as she expertly moves her fingers, curling them upwards on every other thrust. "Rachel!" I gasp as she places her thumb on my clit.

I can feel electricity running through my body. The tension in my stomach rapidly increases with her moves. I am a shaking, writhing mess under her ministrations and when I look at her, I see her pupils dialated and her chest heaving, and thats when I know, that she gets off on it too. "You love this, dont you Rachel?" I manage to get out. Her movements get a little harder as she looks up at me. "We already discussed who needs this, didnt we?" Her voice shows no hint that she's lying, it's her body that does. Her chest heaves just a little more that it was, her eyes widen at the affirmation. "If you didnt love it, you wouldnt do it so much. You love the control, youre a control freak. You need me." I am confident in my words when all of a sudden Rachel pulls out of me and stands up. "I do not need this." Rachel leans down, picks up my clothes, and walks out of the room.

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I hope someone actually likes this.


	3. You Are The Best I've Ever Had

**I know that this is short. Not like it matters. No one is even reading this.**

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The next day I am sitting on my bed, still naked, when my door opens. I lift my head, expecting it to be Rachel, but instead Cosima walks into my room holding a stack of clothes. "Oh my God, dude, where are your clothes?" She smiles at me. "Oh my God, Cos, what are you doing in here?" I ask standing up and grabing the clothes from her hands. I smile when I realize that they are actually my clothes from Fee's loft. I pull on my underwear, leather pants, The Clash shirt, and my combat boots quickly. "Delphine broke down and told me you were here. I can't get you out sadly, but I'm aloud to visit and take you to see Kira." She grins that vampirey grin of hers when I go to hug her. "I'm so glad to see you." Cosima wraps her arms around me tightly. "I'm working on finding a way to get you out." She whispers in my ear. I nod and she lets go of me.

"So when can I see Kira?" I ask her hopefully. "Today." Cosima assures me. "Oh my God!" I feel tears come to my eyes. "I miss my little monkey." I sit on my bed and wipe at the tears streaming down my face. "She misses you too, I went to see her yesterday, she drew you this." Cosima reaches into her pocket and grabs a piece of paper. I grab it from her outstretched hands and unfold it quickly. I smile as I see two stick figures. One has really dark wavy hair, and they other has light brown hair. Under the dark headed one it says mommy, and under the other one it says Kira. Around the two stick figures is a heart. I hold the picture to my chest before sticking it under my pillow. My head snaps up quickly when Cosima starts coughing, flecks of red flying from her mouth.

"Oh my God, Cos." I run over to her. She reaches in her pocket and gets a tissue and coughs into it. It takes a few minutes, but eventually she stops coughing. "Are you okay?" She nods and wipes the blood off her lips. "I'm fine." I frown at her. "I thought that had stopped, Cos." She sighs and leads me to sit on the bed next to her. "The last stem cell treatment has done all it can, and I refused to ask for another from Kira." I feel tears come to my eyes. "I'm sure Kira wouldnt mind, she loves you." Cosima shakes her head. "I'm not going to keep harvesting her." I feel tears come to my eyes as I look at Cosima. "No. You're just going to let yourself die. You're going to make her expierience losing someone she loves. She'll lose an aunt and I'll lose a sister." I raise my voice slightly trying to make my point. "Wow." Cosima looks at the ground. "I never thought about it that way." Cosima admits.

I rub her back in circles and lean my head on her shoulder. "At least let me ask her?" I kiss her cheek lightly. Cosima nods at me. "Okay, but if she says no, thats it." Cosima tells me. "You cant beg her." I nod. "I know, but I doubt she'll say no." Cosima shrugs. Suddenly the door to my room opens and Delphine pops her head in. "Kira's ready to see you." Cosima smiles at me and grabs my hand, standing me up. She walks to the door and I frown when she grabs a pair of handcuffs from Delphine. "This was the only way they would let me take you." Cosima says apologeticly. "Handcuffs?" I chuckle. "That's kinky, Cos." Cosima laughs before motioning me to turn around. I turn my back to her and put my hands behind my back, feeling cold steel wrap around my wrists.

"Okay, come on." Cosima grabs my arm and leads me through the hallways of DYAD. "So, how long do I get with Kira?" I ask as we step onto an elevator. The walls are mirrors and I cringe at the sight of myself. My hair is oily and flat and I have dark circles under my eyes. "Rachel says you get thirty minutes today. She says you havent earned more." I scoff and Cosima raises an eyebrow at me. "Are you being hostile towards Rachel?" I want to start laughing. 'Not when we're shagging.' I think to myself. "Maybe a little." I shrug. Cosima chuckles lowly. "I should have known. I told you, youre the wild type." She grins at me. "My advise, if you want to see Kira more. Be nicer." Cosima tells me as we step off the elevator.

As soon as we step off, I am led to a pink door. It's easy to spot against all the white in the hallway. "The is our stop." Delphine says, she slides her pass card against the door to open it. "Go ahead." Delphine motions. I open the door, and sat on the bed is my monkey. "Mommy!" She yells and takes off towards me. She throws her hands around my neck and I hold her tight. "Hello, monkey." I bury my face in her curls and just hold her there. "Mommy, I've missed you." Kira pulls back and pouts at me. I push a strand of hair behind her ear and smile at her. "I've missed you too, baby." I kiss her cheek, making her smile. "Are they being nice to you?" I ask worried. Kira nods her head. "Rachel comes to see me everyday. She brings me games and coloring books. Sometimes she even colors with me. And she lets Auntie Cosima come visit me whenever she wants, and she teaches me science." I look back at Cosima and mouth a thank you. "I miss you though, alot."

"I miss you too, monkey, but I'm gonna be seeing you more, okay?" I reassure her. Kira nods and I stand up and grab her hand. "I like your room, baby." Kira's face lights up. "Its real big!" She exclaims flopping down on her bed. "Feel my bed mommy." I smile and lay down with her. "It's so soft." It really is. It's about ten times more comfortable than mine. Her rooms a lot bigger. She has more in here than I've ever been able to give her. That thought makes me want to cry. "Rachel says that we're here so you can help my aunties." Kira looks at me. "Is that true?" I sit up and take her hands into mine. "Yes, baby." I lie to her, because it's easier to tell her that, than to tell her im being imprisoned here.

"Speaking of your aunites. I have a question to ask you. You don't have to say yes. If you don't want to do this dont." I tell her seriously. She tilts her head at me. "Does auntie Cosima need my bone narrow again?" She questions. "Marrow." I correct her. "And yes, but you dont have to do this again baby." She smiles at me. "I want to. I like having my Aunt Cosima. I love her." I get tears in my eyes. I dont have to lose my sister yet. "She loves you too." I wrap her up in a bear hug. "Isnt that right Cosima?" I look over at her. She has tears shining in her eyes too. "I do, Kira. I love you alot." Cosima tells her. "Now come on, Lets play with some of your toys, okay?"

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 **Please follow or review if you're reading. I'm tempted to delete this story.**


	4. I Turned You Up And Walked Away

More smut...Sorry mom!

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I'm sitting in my room after my visit with Kira when my door opens. I turn around to see Rachel walking in the room with a bag in her hand. "How was your visit with Kira?" She asks polietly. I eye her body up and down before making eye contact. "It was great. Thank you for letting me see her." I thank her honestly. "You're welcome." She sits the bag in her hand on my bed. "I thought maybe you would want a shower." My eyes light up at the thought of a nice hot shower. "I'd love one." I answer. She nods and walks to the door. "Come on then." I get up off the bed and follow her. "I wont cuff you but I will hang on to you." I smile interally. Those cuffs hurt. She leads my through a couple hallways. It's silent other than the clicking of her annoyingly high heels.

We get to the bathroom and there is a wall with multiple shower heads on them, but no curtians or anything to block me from view. "Strip." Rachel orders. I do as she says, ripping my clothes from my skin, all the while she stares at me intently. It makes me nervous. After I am fully undressed, I stand there awkwardly with my arms crossed over my chest. Rachel smirks at me. "Well it's nothing I havent seen before. Here's the shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Go shower." I take the stuff from her and walk to the shower head farthest away from Rachel. I turn the hot water and practically moan as it hits my skin. Showers have been my happy place since I was a kid. In my mind, I'm washing off all the bad things that have happened. I feel lighter after showers.

I pour some of the shampoo in my hand and massage it through my grimy hair. I try not to look over to where Rachel is standing, just watching me. I feel her gaze on my body though. It feels like its burning a hole through me, it makes my body feel hot. I finish rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, then I do the same to the conditioner. It's when I'm washing the soap off my body that I hear heels clicking on the tile of the shower floor. "Turn the water off." She orders. I turn around and shakily do as she says. I shiver in the icy air as she walks infront of me, staring as the driplets of water rain down my flushed skin. My heart races in my chest so fast I can hear it. Slowly, Rachel steps closer and closer to me, until I am pushed back against the cool tile wall. I tremble as she runs a finger from my jaw line down to my chest. Her touch feels like fire and I can still feel it even when its not there anymore.

Slowly she leans in until her lips lay upon mine. She kisses me slowly. It's sensual and sweet, different from when she is fucking me. It shocks me, this isnt something she had done before. It feels different, it feels intimate. Then it picks up, and its all teeth and tongue, and shes holding my jaw, tilting my head up to her liking, and it takes my breath away. She tastes like expensive wine and smells like vanilla. Her lips are soft and supple but her hands are demanding where ever she touches me. The stark contrast makes my head spin and when she pulls away from me, breaking the contact, it pulls a whimper from my throat. But then she's kissing down my throat, biting and sucking every now and then, and her hands run up and down my naked sides, running just under my breast then running back down. It's teasing and it drives me mad.

Then her fingers finally find a nipple and a gasp leaves me as she pinches it. She rolls it between her fingers as she bends to capture the other in her hot mouth. I let out a sound between a whine and a moan as she bites down lightly on my nipple. "Are we going to do this everyday?" I rasp out. She bites down harder making my hips buck. "We'll do this as much as I want." She runs a finger down inbetween my legs. "Plus, it feels like you're enjoying it." She smirks at me. I whimper as she pulls her finger back, my hips cant up looking for the friction that I lost.

Suddenly, with strength I didnt know she had, Rachel picks me up and packs me over to the sinks. "What are you doing?" I ask. She sets me down on the counter, making my back flush against the cool glass of the mirror. "Did you think I was gonna get on my knees for you, Manning?" She bends down and starts nipping at my thighs. "Oh." I breathe out. Now I understand what she's doing. She spends an excrushiating amount of time just biting and kissing my inner thighs, getting really close to where I need her then pulling away. "Just get on with it, yeah?" She lifts her head to stare coldly at me. "Is that how you ask?" She scolds me like you would a child. I groan and lay my head back against the mirror. "You get nothing until you find your manners, Sarah." I huff at her and lift my head back up to look at her. "Will you please do something Rachel?" I ask through my teeth. "Since you said please."

She bends back down and puts my legs on her shoulders. She then, takes and slow, long lick up the length of my slit. My head falls back, harshly hitting the mirror, as a moan makes its way out my throat. She continues giving teasing licks, never hitting my clit, just circling around it. I grind my hips trying to force her where I need her, but she just keeps moving her head. She grabs my hips to hold them still, then wraps her lips around my clit and starts sucking harshly. I try to grind my hips with her but her hands stop me from moving. "Hold still or I'll stop." She threatens. I bite my lip and try to hold as still as possible as she starts to flick my clit with her tongue. I feel the familiar tightening in my stomach, a warning of such, to tell me whats coming soon. I continuously fight my body from arching my back as I get closer and closer. Just when I'm about to go over the edge, Rachel pulls away.

"No." I whine, breathing heavily. Rachel smirks at me. "What do you want?" I growl low in my throat at her, I hate when she makes me say it. "Make me come, please?" I ask pleadingly. She bends back down and it's only minutes later that I'm coming undone. I arch my back and thrust my hips as a small scream makes its way out of me. After what seems like forever I collapse against the mirror behind me, my whole body feeling fuzzy. Rachel throws my clothes at me and grins. "Get dressed."

Cosima comes to see me later that day. She tells me that they are going to schedule the bone marrow donation next week and that Rachel said I could be there. I smile when she tells me, then we continue to a different conversation. She tells me about Alison in rehab and that she seems to be getting better, she says that Fee has been helping her quite a bit. She tells me Felix misses me too. She also has been calls from Mrs. S, wanting to know how I am and when I'm getting out. I want to know when I'm getting out too.

I make a brave desicion that day, and decide to tell Cosima about Rachel and I. "Cosima, I need to tell you something, but you cant judge me." She grins and leans in closer, obviously intriged. "Yeah, anything dude, no judgement." She holds up her right hand in scouts honor. "Okay." I take a big breath. "I've been shaggin' Rachel." Her eyes grow wide. "Or more like, Rachel's been shaggin' me." I bite my lip as a ton of expressions run across Cosima's face. "Okay. Is she like, raping you?" Cosima asks confused. "The first time, kinda, I didnt want it at first, but then I did, and now I like it, and I dont know Cosima. Am I going bloody mad?" I ramble. Cosima puts her glasses on her head and leans her head on her palm. "I dont know man, that's complex. I mean, you're basically having sex with yourself." Cosima chuckles. "Rachel is nothing like me." I defend. "I need to get out of here so I can figure this out. Cosima's eyes brighten. "Oh, that's what I had to tell you." Cosima grins. "I have a plan."

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 **Please review or follow or something! I've only gotten 2 reviews!**


	5. When All Of Your Anger Leaves You Silent

"Mommy, You're going to be there when I wake up, right?" Kira asks me sleepily. I look up at Rachel, she gives me a curt nod. "Yes baby, I'll be here the whole time." Kira smiles and yawns. "I'm tired." She whines slightly. "Go to sleep Monkey. I'm right here. I'm not leaving you." Kira nods sleepily at me. "I love you baby. You're being so brave." Kira's eyes close. "I love you too." She mumbles as she falls asleep. I grip her hand and start stroking her hair. "Let's get this over with then, yeah?" The doctor nods and grabs the equitment needed. I lay my head ontop of Kira's and close my eyes, not wanting to watch them poke and prod my baby.

"You really love her, dont you?" I hear footsteps approaching me, I open my eyes and look towards Rachel. "Of course I do. She's my daughter." I look at Kira's face. "My little monkey." I whisper to her. Rachel's hand comes up to stroke Kira's hair. "Why did you leave her for so long, Sarah?" Rachel asks, focusing her vision on Kira. I sigh and kiss Kira's head. "I was a junkie." My voice cracks. "She was getting older, she was starting to notice, I didnt want that kind of life for her. So I left so I could go get clean, then I got into an abusive relationship I couldnt get out of for a while." A tear runs down my cheek. "I wanted her to have the best life she could. She's so brilliant and she deserved more than me." I explain. "She still does."

"You are doing the best you can Sarah." Rachel tells me, still stroking Kira's hair. "She loves you very much. She talks about you all the time. She has never said a negative thing about you, Sarah." Rachel informs me. I smile up at Rachel, seeing a small one on her face too. "You love her too." It's not a question. You can see it in the way she looks at Kira. "It might surprise you, but yes. I've always wanted to be a mother. You know that I cant." A frown appears on her face. "I love kids and yours is very special." Rachel says with more heart than I've ever heard from her. "She loves you too. You know that right?" Rachel shakes her head. "She talks about you when I visit her. She loves it when you play games with her. She talks about it a lot." The smile comes back. "Shes started calling you Auntie Rachel."

"How do you feel about that?" Rachel asks turning to look at me. "If you take care of her, and are nice to her, I dont mind." I kiss Kira's head. "I just want her to be happy." Rachel nods. "Well, I think we've found our common ground." Rachel says. "You have been very cooperative lately. So, I talked to everyone." I dont question who everyone is. "We've decided to move you to the room connected to Kira's." I look up at her in shock. "She needs her mother with her." Rachel states. "They only thing, is that I get to come visit her too. I want some one on one time with her everyday." Rachel extends her hand out to me. I shake it. "Deal."

It's a couple hours later, and Kira is still sleeping. Rachel has fallen asleep too, in a chair across from me. In her sleep, Rachel looks so vulnerable. Her nose twitches every now and then, her lips relaxed, not in a straight line like usual, her eyes move underneath her eyelids rapidly. It's a new Rachel. "Mommy?" My head snaps over to Kira. I rush over to her. "Hi baby. How ya feelin?" Kira shrugs and rubs her eyes. "My back hurts." She tells me. "One to ten?" I ask her. She holds up three fingers. "Do you need medicine?" She shakes her head. "No. It's just sore." I nod at her and kiss her head. "Is that Auntie Rachel?" I nod. "Do you want me to wake her up?" Kira look at me hesitantly. "It's okay baby. I dont mind." Kira nods at me.

I walk over to Rachel nervously and lay my hand on her shoulder. "Rachel." I shake her a little. She doesnt move. "Rachel." I shake a little harder. Still no movement. "Rachel!" One last shake. "What?!" She bolts up. "Kira wants you." I tell her with a smirk. She regains her composure and runs her fingers through her hair, walking over to Kira. "Hey angel." Rachel rubs her head. "Are you feeling okay?" Kira nods. "If it gets to be too much, just tell me or your mom, okay?" Kira nods again. "I have something to tell you." Kira's eyes brighten. "What is it?" Kira asks curiously. "You know the room next to yours? That the door goes to?" Kira nods. "Thats gonna be your mom's room." Kira gasp and looks over at me smiling. "I'll get to see you all the time?" Kira asks excitedly. "That's right, baby." I tell her. Kira's smile makes my world light up.

"Mommy?" Kira asks later. "Yeah?" Kira whines a little. "Can I have some medicine?" She asks. "Of course. One to ten?" I ask worriedly. "Eight." Kira whimpers. "I'll get it." Rachel walks out of the room. "Mommy, did I help Auntie Cosima?" I nod. "Yes baby, you were very brave. They are giving it to her now." I rub my nose against hers, smiling. "So, Cosima wont die now?" Kira worries. "No baby. She's gonna stay here with you. You're her gardian angel." Kira gasps. "I am?" She questions. "Yep! You help keep her alive!" Kira smiles. "That's so cool! Mommy, can I be a angel for Halloween?" I laugh a little. "Anything you want."

"I have the medicine." Rachel brings a small cup in with red liquid in it. "Now this isnt going to taste good, okay?" Kira shrugs. "Medicine never does." Rachel smiles and brings the cup to her lips. Kira tips her head back and drinks all of it. "Good job, Kira." Rachel praises. Seeing a little bit of the medicine on Kira's chin, Rachel reaches up and wipes it off with her finger, wiping it on her expensive pants suit. And that is when I see the maternal side of Rachel. "Go to sleep baby." I tell her kissing her head. "I know youre tired." Kira looks up at me. "Will you and Rachel cuddle me?" I chuckle lightly. "I know I will." I look at Rachel. "Of course." Slowly, Rachel and I climb in the small bed on either side of Kira.

In minutes Kira is out and Rachel and I lay there silently. "Rachel?" I whisper. "Yes Sarah?" I hesitate slightly. "Thank you." I tell her. She lifts her head looking at me over Kira. "For what?" She asks. "For taking care of her. For loving her." I tell her. She doesnt say anything for a while, both of us listening to Kira's breathing. I never in my life thought that I would be thanking Rachel. Just a couple weeks ago, she was cutting my skin open. Things have changed so much in the past couple of week. It happened so fast it makes my spin. It's a few minutes later when quietly Rachel whispers "Always."

I get moved in to my new room the next day. It's bigger than my old one, with an actual bed and a tv. The door that connects me to Kira is unlocked too, so anytime so needs me or I need her, we can get to eachother. I'm sitting on my bed when the door to my room opens and Rachel walks in. "You have a visitor. He came in demanding to see you." Rachel motions her hand and in walks Felix. "Hello sister." A huge smile appears on my face. "Felix!" I run towards him, wrapping him in a huge hug. "I'll leave you two." Rachel closes the door behind her. "How are they treating you?" Felix asks concerned. "Surprisingly well. I get to see Kira now, which makes it a lot better." I sit on my bed and pat the spot for him to sit. "How'd you manage to convince them to let you see me?" I ask. "I just asked to talk to Rachel, and she said okay." He shrugs. "It didnt take much convincing, I was surprised."

"Yeah, Rachel's been pretty nice lately. A big difference from two weeks ago when she tortured me." I laugh. "She tourtured you? How?" I stand up and show him the scars on my skin. "That bitch." He fumes. "Calm down, Fee. I'm fine." He huffs a little. "Do you want to see Kira?" I ask. He nods. "Come on then." I walk over to the door and open it. "Kira?" She looks up from her book. "Uncle Felix!" She yells. "Hey monkey!" He goes to sit next to her. "What'cha reading?" I smile and watch as Kira excitedly explains her book to him in great detail. "Woah. That seems likie a great book." Felix exclaims. "Uncle Felix, are you gonna come visit me more?" Kira asks smiling.

"If he wants." I jump and turn around to see Rachel behind me. "Shit!" I exclaim. "You scared me!" Rachel smirks. "As I was saying. Felix, If you want to visit more, I am allowing Sarah two visits a week. Only two visitors at a time." I look at her excitedly. "Wow. Thank you Rachel." I say shocked. "I told you, Good behavior comes with rewards. I'll take them away if you start acting up again." I nod at her. "Well you guys might as well be shagging, huh?" Felix says sarcasticly. I blush furiously and Rachel smirks. "Holy shit." Felix exclaims.

"Mommy? What's shagging?"


	6. You Wanna Break Free

"Seriously Sarah? Rachel?" Felix exclaims. "And what is that supposed to mean?" Rachel asks calmly. "It means that youre a coniving bitch and you dont deserve my sister!" I sigh and put my head in my hands. "We're not in a relationship Fee." I try to explain to him. "No, but you can fuck her?" He yells. "Oi! Quiet! Kira's next door." I shush him. "I really dont see why you have a problem with this. You get payed to shag." I remind him. "But I'm not shagging my enemy." I sigh. "She's not the enemy anymore, Fee."

"She's not?" He says mockingly. "No." I answer. He walks closer to me and grabs my face. "She has you locked in here with no escape. You have scars all over your body from her, and lets not forget that she tried to kill all of us and kidnap your daughter." He pats my face. "She loves her." I whisper to him. "Kira loves her. You know she's a good judge of character." Felix's hands drop off my face. "I need to go think about this." He kisses my cheek. "I love you." He whispers as he wraps me in a hug. "I love you too." I whisper back.

"Well that was dramatic." Rachel comments after he leaves the room. I sigh and sit on my bed. "I don't understand this." I tell her. "You hate me, I hate you. What are we doing?" I ask her. She walks next to me and sits on the bed. "I dont hate you Sarah." I laugh. "Could of fooled me." Rachel sighs lowly. "I never hated you. I was jealous of what you have." I look up at her. "All that, because you were jealous of my kid?" I inquire. Rachel nods solemly. "All I ever wanted to be was a mother, but its the one thing I can't do." Rachel looks at me. "Can you imagine that Sarah?" I shake my head at her. "That has to suck." Rachel nods.

"But anyway, look who we saw snooping around Dyad's building yesterday." Rachel holds up her phone. I gasp. I'd notice that blonde hair and red eyes from anywhere. "Helena?" I look up at Rachel, she nods. "Th-that's not possible." I stutter. "I killed her." Rachel shakes her head. "That's what you thought. I looked into it and found hospital records of a jane doe with Helena's description. Her heart is on the wrong side. Her body is a mirror." I look up with tears in my eyes. "So she's alive?" Rachel nods. "I want to see her."

"I dont think thats a good idea." Rachel says. "You tried to kill her." I stand up. "Well, she's obviously looking for me! I want to see her!" Rachel sighs. "No." A few tears fall down my face without my permission. "Look, she's my twin sister. I didnt realize at the time how much it would hurt to loose her. But now I do, and as crazy as she is, I love her." I explain. "So let me see her?" Rachel sighs and stands up. "I'm sorry Sarah, but I cant." Rachel walks out the door. "Bitch." I growl. Really, I understand why she doesnt want me to see her, Helena has proven to be dangerous multilple times. But, she has also proven to have a liking to me, and she doesnt want to hurt me. She just doesnt know how to love.

"Mommy?" Kira pokes her head in through the door. "Is uncle felix mad at me?" I get up and pick her up swinging her around. Her laugh is contagious and I find myself laughing too. "No, monkey. He's not mad at you at all." I brush her hair out of her face. "Is he mad at you?" She asks seriously. "A little bit, but dont you worry about that, yeah?" Kira nods. "How are you feeling?" I kiss her nose. "Tired." She responds. I carry her back to her room and lay her on her bed. "How bout a little nap?" She nods. I start pulling the covers over her body, tucking her in. "If you wake up and I'm not here, dont worry. I have to go get a check up from the doctor." Kira yawns. "Okay, mommy." I sit with her until she falls asleep.

When I get back into my room, Rachel is sitting on my bed. "I'm sorry for walking out in the middle of our discussion, but I do not want to speak of it further right now." I nod at her. "Are you ready for your testing?" I shrug. "What is this testing for anyway?" I ask. "Just to see that you are in your best health." She explains to me. "Okay, lets get this over with." I tell her. She grabs my arm and we leave the room and start walking down the hallway. "Youre getting blood tests and a urine test today." Rachel explains to me. "Okay. Is that all?" Rachel shrugs. "You'll also get vital signs done. Tempature, blood pressure, things like that."

We get to the examination room and I sit down on the table. "I'll be right back." Rachel walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her. I sigh and look around the room. I see all the different medical equitement sitting on tables and hanging off walls, but other than that the room is very bland. I snap my head back towards the door when I hear the door being unlocked. I smile when Cosima walks through the door. "Hey Cos." I greet. She smiles back at me. "Hey, this is your shot. No guards are out there, come on." I stand up and shuffle my feet nervously. "What about Kira? I wont leave her." I cross my arms over my chest. "Youre not, Delphine is getting her." I nod. "Let's go then." I tell her. She smiles.

She looks out the door and motions for me to follow her. Together we tip toe down the corridors of the Dyad institute. She turns a corner and we walk together to an elevator. We look at each other shocked when it beeps. "Shit." Cosima curses. "Someones coming, come on." She takes off running towards the stairs. My heart rate speeds up as I take off behind her. My feet slam on the ground loudly from the force of my running, my breathing comes out in pants, and I feel sweat forming down my neck at the thought of getting caught. We hear the elevator doors start to open as Cosima opens the doors to the stair well.

Cosima pulls me through quickly and quietly shuts the door. "Shit, it's Rachel, we gotta go, everyone is going to be looking for you." We rush down the stairs. Halfway down, Cosima tells me that we were on the twelveth floor and we still have six floors to go. I am dripping sweat now and I feel like I'm going to pass out. We get another floor down when the alarms start going off. "Fuck." I curse. "Agreed. We have to be careful." Cosima's phone goes off. "Delphine got Kira out." I smile as we run down the stairs. Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs Cosima opens the emergency exit door. I see a black car sitting right outside and I almost turn around. Cosima grabs my arm. "Don't worry its just Delphine." She leads me to the car. I open the back door and slide in next to Kira as Cosima gets in passenger side.

As we are driving off I turn around and see Rachel running out of the emergency exit.


	7. This is gonna hurt

**Sorry I haven't updated this. I just got home Thursday night from treatment for suicidal thoughts, cutting, and an eating disorder. I am feeling much better now and will keep writing this story if that it what you guys want!**

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"Where are we going Cosima?" We've been in the car for five hours now. Next to me, Kira is fast asleep with her head resting against the car door. Cosima and Delphine have switched out, Cosima now driving and Delphine asleep in the passengers seat. Cosima huffs annoyed, I've been asking her the same question for the past five hours, not that she's given me an answer or any hints. "Cosima?!" I yell. "Alright!" She yells back. Delphine jumps, starled from her slumber and looks confused at us. "What is going on?"

"America!" Cosima ignores Delphine. "We're going to America!" I slump against my seat. "Well it's about fucking time." I exclaim throwing my hands in the air. "How are we crossing the border?" Delphine reaches in her purse and pulls out an evelope, handing it to me she smiles. "I'm always prepared." I pull out four IDs. One has my picture on it and has the name Angela Ross, Cosima's is Alexa Ross, they have the same birthdate, town, and descriptions on them. Twins. Delphines is Katerina Ferroe, still from France, and finally Kira's, Tianna Ross, still my daughter.

"Angela? Really?" I ask Cosima. "How boring." I mutter. "And Sarah isnt?" She retorts. I roll my eyes at her and look out the window, watching the other cars pass. "How far away are we?" I run my hands through Kira's hair as she stirs in her sleep. "Three more hours." Delphine answers grimacing. "Where in America are we going?" There are a lot of places in America where having a british person there would make me stick out like a sore thumb. "Long Island, New York. Right next to NYC." Cosima pulls into a gas station. "We're almost to the border. Let's get some grub." I nod. "What about Felix and Mrs. S? What are they going to do?" I gently start shaking Kira awake. "They are following us in about a week." Kira blinks her sleepy eyes up at me. "Where are we mommy?" Kira rubs her eyes.

"We're going to see America sweetie? Remember you learned about it in school?" Kira smiles at me. "Like a vacation?" I nod at her. "Yeah, like a vacation." I repeat. "Are you hungry?" Kira nods. "Let's go get some food then, yeah?" We clamber out of the car and walk hand in hand into the small gas station. Kira walks over to Delphine, who picks her up and swings her around, making her cackle. "I feel bad for leaving Rachel, Cos." I tell her as we walk down the ailes of junk food. "I was starting to love her." I admit. Cosima sighs. "If she loved you, she wouldnt have you imprisoned. If she loves you, she'll find you and do it the right way." Cosima gives me a small smile. "You needed your freedom. So did Kira. You dont want her growing up at Dyad do you?" I shake my head. "No, but I dont want her growing up on the run either."

"She's not." Cosima assures. "We're only going to be gone for three weeks. Kira will think it's a vacation. She can see New York City and go to a lot of cool places." Cosima smiles. "She'll love it." We walk back to where Delphine and Kira are. We buy the food we have and go back to the car. "How much longer to we have to be in the car, mommy?" Kira grumbles. I laugh quitely and kiss her head. "Just a little bit longer baby." I did in to the bag of chips I bought, not realizing how much I missed junk food. When I was with Rachel, she brought me healthy things, like tofu. It was strange for me, as I usually eat take out and what ever junk food I can find. She also had me drinking water and juices, opposed to soda and alcohol. It was the healthiest things I've ever consumed, but not the tastiest. Tofu had no taste and the juices had weird things like kale in them. I'd much rather have chips and some cola. I lean my head against the window when I'm done with the food and soon enough, I fall asleep.

"Sarah." I feel a push on the shoulder. I blink my eyes open and sit up. "What?" I look at Cosima through blurry eyes. "Come on, we're here. Delphine and Kira are already inside." I look out the window and see a small, but clean looking hotel. I step out of the car and stretch, my legs feeling like jelly from being cramped up for so long. "How did I sleep for so long?" I crack my back and neck as I stretch. "I dont know dude. You were snoring too." Cosima laughs a little. "Come on, help me with the luggage." She pops open the trunk of the car and grabs a suit case. "Hey Cos." I say quietly. "Yeah?" She looks at me expectantly. "Thanks for all this." I motion around. She walks up to me and wraps her arms around me. "No problem. Youre my sister. I would do anything." She whispers into my ear. "Now come on, we've gotta rest tonight and explore tomorrow. It's a vacation, remember?" She grins. I follow her into the motel room.

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"Look mommy! Ponies!" Kira squeals. We are at the Long Island Zoo, walking towards a fence with horses behind it. "I wanna ride one!" Kira yells seeing the many children that are riding them in circles. "Okay baby, lets get in line." I usher her to the line of small children and their parents. "I've never rode a pony before." Kira tells me. "I know. Are you excited?" She nods her small head and jumps up and down. "We shouldnt have given you so much sugar today." I remark, smiling as she sticks her tongue out at me. "Your turn monkey." I gesture towards the worker that motioning for her. I watch as they help her on the small horse and teach her how to hang on. She smiles as the horse walks her in circles, laughing when it neighs. I smile and feel greatful to get to witness this experience.

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"Look it's you!" I point at the monkey that is swinging from a rope. "But I look nothing like that." Kira laughs. "Yeah huh. You're both hairy!" I start tickling her stomach, making her squeal in laughter. Cosima walks up beside Kira and crouches down to the level. "You know whats cool about monkeys?" Kira shake her head. "They have thumbs, just like us." Cosima wiggles her thumbs. "Maybe I am like a monkey then." Kira says thoughtfully. "Come on silly. We have one more animal to see." I grab her hand and lead her to where the giraffes stand.

"Wow." Kira tilts her head up to look at the giraffe that stands behind the glass. "It's so tall!" Kira exclaims. "It's taller than you!" She tells me. "I want one." She says seriously. I chuckle at her. "I dont think it will fit in Uncle Felix's apartment baby." Kira pouts at me. "Okay." She shrugs. "They are still cool though." I stroke her hair. "I know. They're my favorite animal." I inform her. "I think they're mine too." Kira decides. "I'm tired mommy." She yawns. "Alright baby. We're done. Let's go back to the motel and take a nap, yeah?" Kira nods. "This is the best vacation ever." I kiss her head. "Yeah, it is."

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Sorry it's short. I rushed to get this chapter out to you guys. I hope you liked it anyways!


	8. You Found Me

**We get to see some PunkyMonkey friendship in this, as well as some ProPunk! Hope you like it!**

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The past week has been crazy. We've been running all over the place sight seeing and what not. Kira's been having a blast. We saw Times Square, the statue of liberty, Central Park, The Brooklyn Bridge, and multiple other things. We went in the Toy's R Us in Time's Square and Kira got to ride the mini Ferris wheel in there. Felix and Mrs. S joined us last night, both of them excited to be in America. I was having fun, but in the back of my mind, I was always thinking about Rachel. She had opened up to me. She started seeming more and more human. Kira missed her too, she kept asking when Auntie Rachel was coming, much to the annoyance of Cosima.

Cosima and Delphine have been doing there best to keep an eye on Rachel and what she's doing. Delphine has been talking to topside, who did not agree with my imprisonment. Every move Rachel makes is told to Delphine. Cosima had us all using our clone phones and had us throw away our track able phones. It's been hectic and I don't know what's going to happen when we go back. I know I'll have to see Rachel again. I want to see her again. I need to know if everything she said is true. I know it's weird to be falling for my clone, but really, the only thing the same about us is our face.

"What was the point of all this, Cosima?" I inquire as we lay side by side. Cosima turns her head to look at me and squints her eyes. "What do you mean? It was to get you out of there." My clone replies confused. "Yeah, but why go out of the country. We have to go back, I'm going to see her again." I sigh. "What's going to happen then?" Cosima shrugs. "Well hopefully by then, she would of had time to calm her anger and you guys can have a proper conversation." Cosima smiles. "Without you being imprisoned again, of course." I let out a small laugh. "Yeah. Obvs." I say mocking her. She pushes my shoulder laughing. "I've missed this, Cos." I say seriously. "Me too. It's good to be just us, everyone else out sight seeing, just us sisters." Cosima muses.

"We need more sister time." I turn and nuzzle myself into Cosima's neck. She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on top of mine. "I know. Everything's always so crazy anymore." Cosima sighs. "Promise me more sleepovers and gossip?" Cosima holds out her pinky. I laugh and wrap my pinky around hers. "I promise." We both laugh at the her childish nature. "Have you talked to Alison?" I ask. Cosima nods against my head. "She is doing fine, her and Donnie have not been bothered by Rachel or anyone from Dyad. It's surprising, really." Cosima laughs. "I figured that's where they would go first." I muse. Before Cosima can say anything, we are interrupted by my clone phone ringing. I groan and untangle myself from Cosima's grasp, reaching over to the bedside table and answering the phone without looking at the ID.

"Yeah?" I answer grumpily, not liking being interrupted. "Where are you?" A light but stone cold British voice comes through the phone. I freeze and my eyes go wide. Cosima looks at me confused and I hold up one finger. "Sarah. Where are you?" The voice asks again. "Rachel." I sigh. Cosima stands up off the bed, looking startled, looking much how I feel. "How'd you get this number?" I wonder. "Sarah, I want to know where you have gone." Rachel orders. I look at Cosima with wide eyes not knowing what to do. Cosima shakes her head at me. "Don't tell her anything." Cosima shouts. "Sarah. Don't listen to her. You've had me worried sick, I deserve to know where you are." I run my free hand through my hand, not knowing what to do. "Rachel, I'm sorry." I apologize. "I cant tell you." Cosima nods at me, telling me I've done the right thing.

On the other line Rachel sighs. "When are you coming back?" Rachel inquires. "We need to talk." I snort a laugh. "You gonna lock me up again? Take my daughter?" I ask incredulously. "I don't think so." I remark. "I do not wish to do that anymore." Rachel says calmly. "Really?" I retort sarcastically. "Yes. I just want to talk." Rachel assures. "Then talk." I growl, growing frustrated. "In person. Tell me where you are and I will come get you." Internally, I fight with myself. Most of me is curious about what she has to say, the other part is scared of being locked up again. I look at Cosima, my eyes begging for help. Cosima sighs and runs her fingers through her dreads. "I'll keep Kira safe. You love her. Go." Cosima tells me. I give her a small smile. "Sarah?" Rachel's voice snaps me back to the conversation at hand. "If we do this, we talk. That means you listen to what I have to say too."

"I will, Sarah, but you have to tell me where you are." Rachel reminds me. "Long Island, New York." Rachel go quite for a moment. "I'll be there in two hours." She hangs up. I sit my phone back down and look at Cosima. "Thank you." I whisper. She crosses the room and hugs me. "You really love her don't you?" Cosima asks. "I think I do." I shake my head. "I don't know. I've never loved a girl, let alone my own clone." I laugh. "It's kind of creepy, isn't it?" Cosima shakes her head. "No, love is love. We can't control our hearts." Cosima pulls back from our hug to look at me. "Even if you fall for the most complicated person ever." Cosima chuckles. "You sure you're going to be okay with Kira?" I worry. "Of course. Mrs. S and Felix are here too, and she loves Delphine, more than me I think." I shake my head at that statement. "No. She completely admires you." I kiss her cheek. "She wants to be a scientist now." I inform her. Cosima's eyes light up at the information. "Well, you better get packed." Cosima reminds me. "You're going to have a long day with the proclone." I nod and start throwing my clothes from the dresser drawers on the bed.

It takes about thirty minutes for me to get all of my clothes packed. After I'm done, I call Mrs. S's clone phone. "Hello love." She answers. "Hey. I'm leaving for a little bit. Rachel is coming to get me. I have to talk to her." Mrs. S goes silent. "How did she find us?" My foster mothers voice is steel. "She found my number somehow." There's a pause on the other side of the line. "Why don't you tell me what this talk is really about, chicken." She requests. "You can't leave me." I rush out. "Sarah." Her voice softens. "Have I ever left you?" I shake my head, forgetting that she cant see me. "I'm falling for her." I tell her. She goes silent for a few minutes, making me fear the most. "Well then, you better go get her then, yeah?" I smile and a tear makes its way down my cheek. "Yeah." I whisper. "I'll explain to Kira. Make sure you keep in touch until we get back." We say our goodbyes and as I hang up the phone I get a text message.

"Rachel's almost here." I tell Cosima nervously. "That was fast." Cosima remarks. I nod and grab my suitcase. "I have to meet her at the airport." I kiss Cosima on the cheek. "I love you, Cos." Cosima smiles. "I love you too." I walk out the door and hail a taxi, telling him where to go, and getting in the backseat. I watch as all the cars and trees pass by, feeling butterfly's in my stomach at the thought of seeing Rachel. Rachel who has tortured and imprisoned me, but somehow captured my heart as well. Rachel, who I've seen many sides of, the sinister and truthful, the human and the robot. I pay the taxi driver when he pulls up outside of the airport entrance. And right outside of the car, stands Rachel. I step out of the car and nervously scratch the back of my neck.

"Hello Sarah." Rachel greets. "Hey." I reply as I grab my luggage. "We have a couple hour flight, I think that's long enough for our talk?" Rachel's voice is so proper and calm. I nod and follow behind her as she starts walking. Her high heels click on the tiled floors as we walk through the airport to a flight gate. "Ms. Duncan." A worker greets as he motions for us to walk onto the ramp to get on the plane. "I'll take them, Ms. Manning." The man motions to my luggage. I hand it to him, not questioning how he knows my name.

We step onto the high class private jet, and I look around amazed with my surroundings. "Wow." I stand in awe. "Have you never been on a plane before?" Rachel chuckles. "I fly coach. So this is different." I inform her. "Drink?" She asks walking over to the small bar. "Got any bourbon?" I walk to the bar with her. She pulls out an expensive looking bottle and pours me a glass. "So, you left." Rachel declares suddenly. "Yes." I answer. "Why?" She looks up at me. "You had me imprisoned to one place. I needed freedom, Rachel." I explain. "From me?" She looks hurt. "From Dyad." I correct her. "I suppose I understand." Rachel states.

"What are we Rachel?" I question. "Are we fuck buddies? Or do I actually mean something? Cause I'm so confused." I exclaim. Rachel sits down in her seat and motions towards mine. I sit down and fasten my seat belt. Not long after the plane starts to move. "Of course you mean something, Sarah." Rachel voices. "You always have." The plane tilts as the wheels leave the ground, sending us airborne. "So what now?" I inquire. We sit in silence for a minute, both of us sipping on our drinks. "Let me take you on a date." Rachel says suddenly. "Okay."

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 **Please review! I don't know if people are really reading or not!**


	9. The End

**Well friends and family, this is the final chapter. Enjoy! WARNING: SMUT**

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"Bowling?" I question cynically. "Yes." Rachel answers smoothly. "Rachel, cold bitch, Duncan, bowls?" I laugh. "I doubt it." I remark with a snort. "I think you will see that I am very good at bowling." Rachel smiles at me. "Youre going bowling in a pants suit." I motion to her outfit. We walk into the beat up bowling alley and go up to the desk. A teenage boy in leaning against the counter looking bored, he must be the worker. He looks over and straightens up when he sees us. "Ms. Duncan." He exclaims nervously. He glances over at me and his eyes go wide. "I didnt know you had a sister." I laugh lightly and Rachel lightly elbows me in the ribs. "Same lane?" The boy asks. "Yes, thank you Mark." He gives us our bowling shoes and we are on our way.

"Pick your ball, Sarah." Rachel smirks at me as she grabs a fifteen pound ball. "There is no way you are strong enough to bowl with that." Rachel just walks away with her ball in hand. I grumble as I grab a ten pound ball, not trusting my noodle arms with anything else. "Let's begin." Rachel walks up to the line with stiff movements. She stands for a moment, lining up her throw, before releasing the ball. Strike. My jaw drops as she turns to face me, that sexy smirk set firmly on her face. "Your turn." I walk up, line it up, and throw it. Gutter ball. I hear a laugh behind me. I turn to glare at Rachel.

"Here, let me help you." Rachel grabs my ball and hands it to me. She motions for me to walk back to the line. I step in front of it and she stands behind me. Soft puffs of her breath hit my neck and make me shiver. "Youre throwing it too high. Youre losing control." She whispers in my ear. "Everythings about control." She grabs my hand and pulls back. "When you release the ball, make sure its lower." My eyelids flutter as she kisses my neck. Then she gone and I'm throwing the ball. Strike. I turn and grin at Rachel, who in turn, claps for me.

"I cant believe you beat me at bowling." I exclaim. We are walking down the street after our intense game. Part of me is surprised she doesnt have a car driving us back. "I told you I was good." She smirks. I smile at her and grab her hand, lacing her fingers through mine. "Thanks to you, so am I." I feel my heart flutter at her smile. "Are you hungry?" Rachel asks. "Starving." She leads us into a pizza place. About an hour ago I would have laughed at the sight of Rachel eating pizza, because something so mundane should be below her. Now however, I'm seeing the more human side of her, and it doesnt seem so crazy.

"So, Kira misses ya." I tell her after we get our pizza and sit down. A bright smile lights up her face and I copy it. "I miss her too." Rachel admits. We eat in a comfortable silence for a while. "I have a proposition for you." I straighten up in my seat. "Oh, buissness Rachel is out." I tease. "What is it?" Rachel grabs my hand. "Live with me." My jaw drops and I start to sputter. "What?" I gawk. "I bought a house. Kira's got a room. Live with me." She repeats. "This is a little fast dont cha think?" I wave my hands around in the air. "I mean, we're on our first date."

"Just think about it tonight?" I nod at her. Then we're leaving, and the air is awkward. "Where am I taking you?" My face goes blank. "Shite. I dunno." I admit. "I would go to Felix's but I dont have a way to get in." Rachel starts laughing. "You went to another country without a place to stay?" I laugh with her. "You can stay at my apartment." Rachel tells me. "Your apartment has bad memories." I cringe. She sighs and kisses me on the cheek. "Let me make them good memories." She whispers seductively in my ear. I nod dumbly and let her lead me to the building attatched to Dyad.

We walk into her apartment and she goes straight to the liquor cabniet. "Wine?" She offers. "Got any beer?" I question. She shakes her head and poors me a glass of wine. "Beer is so below you Sarah." I take the glass from her hands. "I'm a nobody foster kid with a criminal record, beer is exactly on my level." Rachel hums and wraps her arms around me. "You're not a nobody to me." I shiver as her breath hit my neck. "Thanks." I mumble awkwardly. She chuckles and runs her finger down my neck, leaving tiny bumbs in her wake. "Can I touch you?" Rachel pulls my shirt over my head. "You dont have to ask." She tells me. I reach forward and slowly start unbuttoning the jacket to her pantsuit. "Why do you where these so much?" I ask as I push the fabric off her shoulders. It hits the floor and is quickly forgotten.

"They're classy Sarah." She takes off her own shirt. "They're made for old women." My bra comes off. "No. They are made for buissness." She leans forward slowly. "Now shut up and kiss me." I for once, do as she says. Her lips feel like velvet against mine. She kisses slow and languidly, not taking anything for granted. My heart starts pounding fast as I unzip her skirt, tugging at the waist band and pushing it to her ankles. I pull away from her, step back a couple steps, and just look at her. Thinking that she is the sexiest thing I've ever seen seems really narsasitic, but that's whats in my head. "You're beautiful." I murmer to her. She smiles a genuine smile and tugs me back to her by the belt loops of my pants. "As are you." She slowly unzips my leather pants and starts to pull them down. She places feather light kisses on my legs as she bends to help me step out of my soon forgotten pants.

She stands back up and looks at me intently. "What are ya staring at?" I feel my body flush under her stare. She looks up and smiles at me. "I've never taken the time to appreiciate your body before I ravish it." I feel a shiver run up my spine at her words. She steps forward and grabs my hand. "Lets go to the bedroom." She starts pulling me out of one room and into another. Once we get in her bedroom, she pushes me on the bed and straddles me. She starts shifting her hips, grinding down on mine, making a small groan leave my mouth. "Feel good?" Rachel husks. I nod frantically and pull her down to kiss me again. Her tongue runs over my bottom lip and I open my mouth to let it in. Our tongues twirl like a dance, one that two people passionately in love would dance, like a tango. Her hands run up my back to my bra strap, snapping it playfuly, before unhooking it and pulling it off of me.

Before my bra even hits the floor, her lips are making their way down my neck. She kisses all around it, biting at it gently, before she finds a spot that makes me arch my back and let out a low whimper. She stays at that spot and starts sucking the skin into her hot mouth. "Rachel." I breathe out. I feel her lips curl into a smirk as she bites the skin, making me gasp, then soothes the sore spot with her tongue. Then her lips are kissing their way downwards. Lower and lower until they reach my left breast. She places small, teasing kisses around and around, getting close to my nipple, but never touching it. I arch my back and whine when she gets close to it again. She finally relents and sucks the hard pebble into her mouth. I moan lowly and tangle my hand in her hair, pulling her closer to my chest. She gently bites down on the sensitive nub, making my hips buck upwards, as they do, she grinds downwards to meet them. My head spins at all the sensations I feel, I knew being with Rachel was good, but this felt amazing.

"Rachel, I need more." I pant out. I feel her nod and start kissing her way down my body. Her kisses feel like fire, and I can feel them on my skin even after she's moved on. Eventually she makes her way down to my hip bones, and places a kiss right above the waistband of my underwear. "Are you sure you want this Sarah?" Rachel surprises me by asking. "Yes." I husk. "Yes. I want it." I'm barely through saying before she is pulling my underwear down my legs. After my underwear are discarded to the floor, she spreads my legs and settles inbetween them, her arms wrapped around my thighs.

The first lick shuts my brain down, the second reboots it, and the third sends my head spiraling. I moan and tangle one hand in her hair and the other in the bed sheets. I arch my back as the delicious plessure washes over my body in waves. My back stays arched for a while under her ministrations, never giving me a break, keeping my body sensitive. I throw my head side to side, mumbling incoherent things under my breath and whimpering as the muscles in my body tense. Being with Rachel has never been like this before, its never felt this strong. Maybe it's because I'm not being forced, or maybe it's because I love her, I dont know but it quickly has me approaching the edge.

The pressure in my stomach builds and builds until it bursts. An amazing sensation runs throughout my entire body, making a wail leave my mouth and my toes curl. I grasp at Rachel like I'm going to lose her, and my body shakes all over. She stays inbetween my legs for a while, kissing my thighs gently, before she makes her way back up my body. She kisses me and wraps her arms around my body holding me as a few tears make their way down my face from the sudden onslaught of emotions. "I love you." I whisper to her. She looks up at me and smiles. "I love you too." She kisses me. "Move in with me?" I nod at me. "Yes."

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 **Thank you to the people who actually read this, and I'm sorry that most of it sucked. I really hope that you enjoyed reading it.**


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